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Post by shian on Jun 30, 2008 22:38:35 GMT -5
::Shian shook her head, as she bit into a piece of the kava. She kept her eyes on her plate.::
All wars are stupid. ::Her voice was low, almost as if she didn't want anyone else to hear her. She hated wars. The two that she'd been in the midst of took things away from her. Though she didn't want to think about it like this, she was tempted to tell Brock to stay out of this one, because she didn't want to lose him. But she also knew that this was why he was here. Maybe he would be able to stop it.::
Just because they're technologically advanced doesn't mean that they understand the rest of the universe.
::She continued to pick at her salad and take drinks of the water. She really didn't want to dwell on the negatives in this conversation.::
So... what are these people like? The ones that are on the ship. Besides having their heads stuck up their own Jeffries tubes.
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Post by Fleet Captain Brock Dantara on Jun 30, 2008 23:19:24 GMT -5
Well,....::He continued to eat::
They are a very "Pretty" people. Ornately dressed, almost reminiscent of Earth's Victorian era, and.........Aristocratic Stratos Dwellers.
::He hated to use those words but the fact of the matter was, it was the truth. It also angered him a little. Shian was helping him much more tha she could realize. She had the objectivity right now to help him look at things clearly. He was grateful for that.::
They force certain people into servitude for not being able to get the mate that they choose. They get ONE chance to marry. If they don't, they end up in the servant class.
::He found himself muttering the words he knew only too well. theones he lived by.::
"To restrict a segment of the population to such hardship is unthinkable in an evolved culture......."
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Post by shian on Jul 1, 2008 20:03:44 GMT -5
::She didn't know everything about Ardana. Sometimes she wished she could actually see the place, good and bad, so she could understand more about where her husband came from. She heard the disdain in his voice when he mentioned the aristocratic Stratus dwellers.::
::But, as she watched him for a moment, thinking about his homeworld, she smiled. Here he was. A Troglyte, now a Starfleet Captain. He had risen so far above where his people had come from. And more importantly, he had earned it.::
Evolution comes in various forms, though, Brock, and many, many stages. You compare them to the Victorian era on Earth. They can be technologically advanced and still have the mentality of a much less evolved culture. And the same can be true in the opposite way. A society could be a very evolved culture and not be as advanced in technology.
::After she took another drink of water, she then poured herself some juice. She ate another piece of kava fruit, then looked over at him.::
Who are you referring to about the one chance to marry? These Volanthi people?
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Post by Fleet Captain Brock Dantara on Jul 1, 2008 22:47:18 GMT -5
::He found that Shian's voice was calming to him. Her logic and objectivity were crystal clear as always. he now was realizing just how much he missed her counsel. She always had a way of keeping him centered and objective. This was something they couldn't take from her.
The fact that she was capable of lucid thought told him that she was well on the road back. He would do whatever was necessary to help her claim her life back.::
Yes, that's very true. ::He nodded:: Technology and enlightenment don't always go hand in hand. The Volanthi are certainly living proof of that fact.
As far as this marriage thing they have. Their people have to attend a ceremony by a certain age. A man must choose his mate. If the man is not of high enough standing, and gets turned down, He then can never marry and becomes either a servant, or a soldier.
The women, Have to adorn themselves in a certain way. If they are not dressed properly, or not "Pretty" enough, they can be turned down, or not chosen at all. If not chosen, they become servants to the wealthy.
It just seems like people are "set up" to be dumped into the lower classes. The ones who get chosen are a relatively small number. If two servant class members have a child, it haas to be out of wedlock.
I'm trying not to be judgemental on that system. It's their world. I guess I just have a natural compassion for the plight of so-called "Lower classes".
But don't worry, I have no plans to pull a "James Kirk". ::Smiles::
::He found himself just enjoying their talk. It was wonderful for him. He was beginning to feel whole and complete again from her gentle words and her simple wisdom.::
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Post by shian on Jul 1, 2008 23:31:13 GMT -5
::Shian finished her salad as Brock spoke. It was refreshing and she once again noted how nice it was to have such resources on the ship.::
I can understand your compassion. And, for you, it is natural. However, don't let that natural compassion keep you from seeing the whole picture. It doesn't always work in that way, in the favor of the underdogs, so to speak.
::Her own opinions of this "race" he was describing were not favorable. And she hadn't even met any of them or seen them. How could an entire civilization act so dependently on aesthetics alone? She took a drink of orange juice and looked at him curiously.::
A "James Kirk"?
::Shian was finding that her conversations with her husband were getting easier. It was as if they were indeed getting to know each other all over again, like they were in the dating stage of their relationship. Yet with the solid foundation that they'd formed already holding it firm.::
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Post by Fleet Captain Brock Dantara on Jul 2, 2008 22:31:23 GMT -5
::He nodded, knowing that again, his wife was right. Things aren't always fair and things can't always be fixed to be fair for all. He was sure of one thing, though. His ability to make decisions was much clearer, now that his "Compass" his companion was back. He hoped that things would clear up for her too.::
No, the underdog doesn't always win. It's nice when they do. It happened for us, on Ardana. I had always hoped to be able to do for others what was done for us.
Troglytes are not freeloaders. It is our belief that if we are given a gift, we must, in turn, give a gift to one who needs it. They who recieve your gift, must in turn give a gift to those in need. This way, as we put it. We send the shapes of goodnes, justice, and kindness across the universe.
As far as Pulling a "James Kirk" I figured the Doctor would have brought that up. Kirk had a reputaion for taking matters into his own hands. He usually managed to come out smellong like a rose, but it was a much smaller Starfleet back then. Captains were pretty much on their own. Today you can't away with that sort of thing.
But I think all Captains feel a sort of romanticism about those days. Flying by the seats of their pants at warp drive in ships that were like tin cans compared to Polaris.
Or as McCoy puts it, a "Hotel with warp engines"
::He laughs, Feeling more relaxed than he had in- - how long?
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Post by shian on Jul 2, 2008 23:03:45 GMT -5
::She smiled as he explained his reference to Kirk.::
I see you being the "fly by the seat of your pants" kind of captain, though. Because I know you'll do what you think is right by those involved.
::She shrugged slightly.::
Like all other great captains in history.
::Sitting back, she took another drink of her juice, then laughed, in spite of herself at his last statement.::
Dr. McCoy actually called this ship a hotel with warp engines?
::She shook her head, still smiling.::
He's got a very wry sense of humor. But I kind of like it.
::She was silent for a moment, as she watched him finish his lunch. Her eyes went to the pips on his collar.::
I never got to pin those on you....
::Her voice was soft. She didn't even realize she'd said it out loud.::
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Post by Fleet Captain Brock Dantara on Jul 2, 2008 23:48:43 GMT -5
::Smiling, he wiped his mouth,::
Of course I would do what I thought was right. And that's a big responsibility. The idea of flying by the soeat of my pants does have its appeal. Smaller ships, not nearly as fast as this one, no holodecks, no replicators, no multiphasic shields. A simpler time.
It's hard not to think about it after hearing one of McCoy's stories about the old Enterprise.
As far as the "Other" great Starship Captains, there are a lot of them. A lot of great men who did great things and made sacrifices. I appreciate the comparison, Shian, but I don't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with those men.
I don't need History to pin a label of greatness on me. All I want is to be a good, fair Captain, a good man, and a good husband. If I can achieve those things, That would be greatness enough for me.
::He stood up and started doing something on his collar.::
Funny you should bring up the pips. When I got promoted the last two times, It didn't feel right. Because you weren't there to share that with me, it didn't have the same meaning.
::He laid the pips on the table in front of her, then snapped to attention.::
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Post by shian on Jul 3, 2008 19:20:01 GMT -5
::Shian tilted her head to one side.::
Don't say that you don't deserve the mention, Brock. Great captains are all just men and women. It's their actions that set them apart.
You don't need to be labeled. You've already achieved what you wanted. You are a good and fair captain. You are a good man. And you are a wonderful husband.
::She watched him fumble with the pips on his collar before he laid them on the table in front of her. As he did so, her eyes began to tear up.::
::With shaky hands, she picked up the pips that he had placed there and stood up to face him.::
::Her hands still shaking, she moved to put the pips back on his collar. Tears were streaming down her face now.::
Brock Dantara. I am so proud of you. You have accomplished so much and you have earned the right to wear these. Congratulations.
::She finished putting them on his collar and stood back from him. Her hands went to her face to wipe the tears and she smiled at him.::
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Post by Fleet Captain Brock Dantara on Jul 3, 2008 21:03:38 GMT -5
::He stood and let her pin the pips on him. now it felt right. He listened to her words and they flowed across his heart. He too her hand that had just put the pips on::
I needed to hear you say that. You have no idea. And your'e right. Great Captains are just men and women. They don't go around saying "I'm a great Captain" They're just down to earth people like you and I. It's their commitment that makes them what they are.
Promise me you'll never let me lose sight of that. IF I do, you have permission to hit the Captain.
::He smiled a little, helping her wipe the tears off her face, then kissed her hand, and let her knucles rub against his cheek.::
Now, ::He grinned:: I am a Captain.
Today I can now let go of the guilt I was feeling. Because you're the one who made all this happen. You're the one who made an engineer want to be more than he was.
You made me want to be a better man. And if I have done that it is only because of you.
::He slowly put his arms around her and held her gently. almost tearing a little himself.::
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Post by shian on Jul 3, 2008 22:20:46 GMT -5
::The words that he spoke went to her very core. And she had a sense that she'd heard them before from him. The night he proposed? Their wedding? She couldn't quite remember when it was. But she knew that it was one of the best times in her life.::
::She couldn't help but smile as he kissed her hand.::
Brock, what would cause you such feelings of guilt? You have nothing to feel guilty about.
::She, however, felt even more guilt now.::
You've done all of this yourself. You needed no help in becoming the captain that you are. That has always been within you.
::She let herself lean into him as he put his arms around her.::
I did not make you the man that you are.
::She closed her eyes while he held her.::
::This moment... this piece of her day... this felt like home to her. She could almost consider this to be like nothing else had happened. Something in the simple action of pinning his rank pips on his collar brought a part of her back. Or maybe it was just his words. She couldn't tell. All she knew now was that these were the feelings she wanted back, the ones that she considered stolen from her.::
::And this was one such piece of herself that she had finally found.::
::She wished she could just freeze this moment, but she knew she couldn't. She couldn't have Brock all to herself. He belonged to the crew. He belonged to the ship. And they all belonged to him. He had obligations and responsibilities.::
::Straightening up a little, she tried to smile, though it was difficult.::
Thank you for lunch. It was great. You chose just the right food.
Now, don't you have a ship that needs you?
::He had no idea of the ache she felt in her heart right now just saying that out loud.::
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Post by Fleet Captain Brock Dantara on Jul 4, 2008 0:29:36 GMT -5
::He heard her gentile words, but still He felt she deserved more credit than she allowed herself, but for the first time since her return, He began to se the real Shian emerging. His wife was returning. She was beating this thing as he knew she would.::
Shian, as far as the guilt....::He sighed, but he felt he could begin to tell her things now.::
Not long before you...the real you dissapeared, I remember we were sitting at our table in quarters, and we made a pact. We said "Either both of us come home form this, or neither of us do."
After you were gone.........I felt guilty. Because I survived. I thought you didn't. I felt like I had broken the promise.
::He stopped and took a breath, running his fingers over his head. trying to hold back the inevitable tears.::
I didn't want to come home, Shian. ::A tear started:: I didn't want to survive. I broke the promise. I felt like a coward coming home without you!
The last thing I remember on the ship...I was helping some wounded into an escape pod. I planned to remain with the Captain until all the crew were off. He pushed me into that pod and launched it!
I remember banging on the window screaming...He still needed my help.
::He sat for a moment and put his hands over his mouth for a second.::
Then I saw the ship burning up. The Optimus picked us up about six hours later.
I'm sorry, Shian. I had to say that. I had to release it. What kept me going was the dreams......and the nightmares. They drove me.
I had dreamed many times...You were being hurt, and were crying out to me for help. But it felt like...more than a dream. It was real. and I beleived them. Because as long as you were calling out for me like that, I knew you were still alive.
I knew then that I had to have my own ship. and maybe somehow I'd find you. slin as those odds were. I wish I had found you myself, but thank the Gods someone did. I owe Riker a great debt.
And the fact that they took you right out from under my nose! I'm sorry Shian. I should have been sharper. I should have been better. I felt like I wasn't even good enough to protect my own wife.
And before today, I was afraid. Afraid that somehow, they made you stop loving me. I didn't know how I was going to live with myself if that were the case. But today, I felt your love. I felt you in my heart when you spoke, and when you put the pips on me.
I'm sorry, Shian. I didn't mean to throw this at you. please don't think for a minute that you're to blame, I am.
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Post by shian on Jul 4, 2008 1:02:19 GMT -5
::She saw his tears. She saw his anguish. She watched him struggle to tell her exactly what he'd been dealing with. And her tears started again, now streaming down her cheeks.::
::She remembered that oath. She'd not thought about it since the day she found herself in the captivity of her "kidnappers", but she remembered it.::
::Her breath was ragged from the emotions that were coming from both of them. But she forced the words out.::
Brock, you aren't to blame. You had no idea. You didn't have the choice to stay.
::The tears that were in her eyes were so thick that she was having difficulty seeing now. She sat back down in the chair behind her and kept her head down. She couldn't look at him if she wanted to say this.::
::And it's not exactly when she thought she would tell him what had happened. But now felt like the right time, and she actually felt like she might be able to say it all.::
When... when they took me, and... I found myself in this room... I couldn't find a door. I... I kept screaming for you. I screamed for you for so long that my voice was hoarse.
::She was still sobbing as she spoke, and she couldn't stop herself. It made it diificult to speak.::
And then... they kept injecting me with something. I don't even... I don't even know what it was. But, then I was with you. I was with you... and my parents... and... Jax. Everything seemed like... it was fine.
::And this is where she stopped. She couldn't find the words to explain it. With all her heart and soul, she wanted to tell him what she'd done. What they made her think she'd done. And she wanted to scream out loud that she hated every last one of the Impostors for taking what they did from her. But she suddenly couldn't do either.::
::She tucked her feet up underneath her and hugged her knees to her chest, hiding her face in them.::
::The tears wouldn't stop.::
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Post by Fleet Captain Brock Dantara on Jul 6, 2008 10:08:59 GMT -5
::Brock quietly sat next to her as she was curled up. He put his arms around her, gently rubbing her shoulder. He had hoped he didn't bring this up too early, but on the other hand, Maybe this was progress. maybe they needed to break down in front of one another like this.::
I'm sorry, baby, I'm so sorry. ::He scratched her back.:: They can't hurt you anymore. Soon they'll never hurt anyone again.
Shian, I love you. Whatever they did can't stop that. Whatever happened, I'll be here to listen when you're ready to tell me.
And I will be by your side no matter what, Just like you always were for me.
Maybe we both needed to cry. Maybe that's how we'll both get rid of the poisoned thoughts we've both had. Maybe you need to let this out.
I'll be right here, until the Doctor gets back. ::Kisses the back of her head::
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Post by shian on Jul 6, 2008 10:39:54 GMT -5
::Shian was seeing what she wished she'd never see again. She saw that horrible moment when her whole family were wiped out. As if she were living it all over again. She looked down at her hand in this vision, then she felt Brock's arms around her. The vision faded.::
::Brock's words, though, barely registered with her. Her mind was racked with her past actions and her anguish over them.::
::And as she felt his lips on the back of her head, she pulled up and looked at him. Her eyes were pleading.::
You don't understand. ::She was still sobbing.:: I... You...
::She inhaled deeply.:: I love you... so much. ::These words came out very quietly and very quickly. Then she took a breath again.::
I killed you...
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Post by Fleet Captain Brock Dantara on Jul 6, 2008 10:58:21 GMT -5
::He listened to her anguish and her words. Whatever theis was, maybe it was the heart of the matter. He wasn't wuite sure what to make of it, but had some idea of what she meant.::
Shian, what do you mean you "killed" me? You didn't kill me. Did they make you think that? is that what those drugs of theirs did to you?
::This only confirmed what he believed avout the Impostors. They had no concept of human emotion, feelings, love probably confused them the most.
So they poked at her mind like a lab rat just to see how she would react.
Faceless beings. With no identity of their own until they assume another's. They weren't good enough to foolus the first time around, so they were studying up.::
They're going to pay for this. ::He whispered:: And I'm going to charge intrest.
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Post by shian on Jul 6, 2008 11:47:07 GMT -5
::She unfolded herself from the chair and stood from the table, walking across the room, she then stood next to one of the viewports, the tear tracks visible on her cheeks. Her eyes were reddened and a little swollen.::
I did. I killed you. And my father, my mother, and Jax.
::She turned her head slightly to look at Brock and shook it.::
No, not the drugs. ::At least not at that time. It was the drugs that made her hallucinate and dream about being happy with her whole family together. And drugs that ultimately ended it.::
::She put her back to the wall next to the viewport and slid down until she was sitting on the floor. Her eyes began to take on a glassed over look. Something in her psyche was taking over, cutting off her mind from the emotional bank. But it was the only way she'd be able to tell him everything without having another breakdown.::
We were all together. All of us. ::Her sobs, though subsiding, were still punctuating what she said.::
It was as if we'd been... a happy family... living together for years. ::She took a breath in.:: And then they came.
They took all of you away. Told me that you were... going to be punished. Told me I was the reason. Then they took me.
::She was still speaking to Brock, but her eyes were unfocused, as if she wasn't seeing him at all.::
I was in a cell... alone. I didn't know... where they'd taken you. I demanded they let me see you.
Then they put me in a chair and strapped me in it. Told me that you had all been sentenced.
And because I was the cause... they said I'd be the one... to carry out the sentence.
They brought you in. You were all knelt in front of me. Your wrists were bound. I had a phaser in my hand. I couldn't let go of it... I couldn't.
::Her head drifted to the side, as if following the movement of something that wasn't there.::
You were all saying things to me. Cursing me, yelling things. I was screaming for them to make it stop.
They injected something else into me. They put hoods on your heads. They brought one of you before me, pulled off the hood.
It was Jax.
He said I was... he said things. But I could hear them in my head. I could hear the Impostors. They were asking me what I was going to do.
I wanted to stop the noise. I wanted to scream out that I loved Jax. That it wasn't my fault. I couldn't.
I watched... my hand... my finger... press the button on the phaser.
::She curled up into herself again, now, still on the floor, her eyes still not focusing on anyone or anything in the room with her.::
Then it was my mother. Then it was my father. Then... my husband.
You were all saying things that didn't make any sense to me. I thought I was pleading with you to stop saying those things. But I never heard my voice out loud.
I watched my hand on the phaser...
I killed you. I killed all of you. And I couldn't stop it...
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Post by Fleet Captain Brock Dantara on Jul 6, 2008 13:31:24 GMT -5
::He listened to what his wife told him. Fighting to keep his composure. part of him angry. So angry at what he just heard he wanted nothing but revenge.
But he had been taught patience. As a boy he remembered master Musashi moving to Stratos. He had written to the master many times and it was a young boy's drive that had moved him to so so.
But it wasn't handed to him. He had to scrub floors and clean fish for months before he was taught one move, or allowed to hold one weapon. But he watched. And he learned.
A warrior who wielded weaponry and power had to first learn patience.
The Master appeared in his mind for a moment, repeating a lesson. He held up a sword bofore Brock and Asano, the Master's nephew.
"Veangence, :He presented the blade:: is like a double edged sword. for it destroys not only its victims, but also, its perpetrator."
Coming back to the present he could only try to absorb what hea had heard.
What kind of monsters were they? what the hell did they want? what was the purpose of all this?
What were they trying to accomplish? If their species were in trouble, they could have asked us for help, and we'd have helped them. These people didn't even know how to talk. only to threaten and get their way.::
Shian, that wasn't you. That wasn't you who did those things. You were influence by drugs, hypnosis, and whatever kind of mental conditioning you were subjected to. You never killed anyone and you never would.
::He moved closer to her to make sure she was listening. He took her by the shoulders::
Shian listen to me. These Impostors, these things.......They are not people, Shian! They are not a race! They are a disease.
A virus that survives by disguising itsef as another cell. I was right about their relationship to the bases and I'm right about this.
Everything they do is copied from someone or something. People, ships, But there is one thing they can't copy Shian.........Love!
Feelings! Emotions! Caring! They toyed with all that because they can't figure out what it is! They can't solve the human equation Shian and that's what defeated them.
It defeated them out here, and it will defeat them in here. ::he touched her chest over her heart::
And if there are any left out there, anywhere................I have a little anti toxin for them.
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Post by shian on Jul 6, 2008 14:17:29 GMT -5
::Shian could hear Brock speaking. But she returned to the here and now in a jolt when he had gripped her shoulders.::
::Looking up into those deep, beautiful eyes of his, hearing what he was telling her. And when he touched her chest to indicate her heart, another tear slipped down her cheek.::
::Her awareness was back in the room, yet her emotions were still heavily guarded.::
They forced my real memories from me. How could I have been so weak to let them do that? They took all the love I had... and they turned it into something... unnatural.
::Her head shook slightly from side to side.::
And when I thought I'd killed all of you, I wanted to die. I gave up. They won.
They won....
::She sat for a moment, still and calm. Then suddenly she reached over and grabbed onto Brock, wrapping her arms around him. She was hanging onto him as if he were the only thing she had left to cling to. She buried her face in his shoulder.::
I didn't even care when the Titan showed up and rescued those of us who were there. I couldn't even remember the rest of them anymore. I didn't talk to anyone. Not the captain, not the counselor, not the doctors.
::Images of those people flashed through her mind. Captain Riker, Commander Vale, Commander Tuvok, Commander Keru, Counselor Troi, Counselor Huilan, Lieutenant Ogawa, and Dr. Ree, whom she remembered as being huge and reptilian. They'd all been near her at some point while she was being rescued and on the ship. But she wouldn't speak to any of them. She only barely tolerated them trying to heal her physical injuries.::
The memories of what happened while I was there... that's what took over. I thought I'd killed my family, those I love most. I thought I'd been responsible for destroying the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with.
I considered my life to be over....
::She held on to him tightly.::
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Post by Fleet Captain Brock Dantara on Jul 6, 2008 15:46:33 GMT -5
::He held her close ashe clung to him. This was an important break through for both of them. He could feel her heart beating against his, and most importantly, he flet her love. he felt his wife. The womwn he'd ben heartsick over losing now returned to him. She was back.::
They didn't win, Shian. They didn't! Shian, a lot of people would not have eve survived what you went through. you did because you're strong. They didnt win, they didn't take anything from you. All they did was lie to you and decieve you.
Shian, every day I see you get a little stronger. We are resilient beings who can bounce back from things. You're already doing it. This is going to wear off eventually, just like a cold or virus goes away.
And you are not alone. I am here by yourside and will fight along side you every step of the way. Remember you have a Troglyte Samurai for a husband.
We don't take too well to those who hurt our loved ones.
The more you are able to talk about this, the more you can take all this aoutside of yourself. You - we've taken a very major step today. An important step. A step on the road back. The path just got a little bit easier.
::He thought about it, but realized it was still too early to discuss any of Dr McCoy's ideas. Today was enough. Let her gain her new footing.::
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